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All lyrics by Rachel King

 

VEILS

 

There's a thinning of the veil

They claim a sacred, perfect order

From your origin, cut from His rib

Created to be smaller

They'll raise you modest, let you seethe

Denigrate the weaker vessel

Say, "believe me when I say it's meant to be"

You're seeing through their veils

You see their perfect new religion

Now what if you're the sacred one?

Cruelly leashed up

Now you see through their visions

To raise you modest, bleed you dry

Worthy when he tethers up the left hand and says

"Donate your soul for mine

It's unconditional for life

And tell me that you feel it too

It's a sign"

It's a sign

You're lifting up their veils

They speak impending doom, destruction

You insert wire hangers, drink GHB

Inseminate to fit their preference

They say

"Separate the higher meaning

Have a hotline, talk it out

Go heal your pleasure for his pleasing

Women's work to sort it out"

The rage, it seethes

Slow, deep it breeds

'Cause was it meant to be?

You're born again to just bleed out

'Cause it's meant to be

That it's meant for me

That my power, my pleasure

It was taken from me

To be everything He wanted

All they want me to be

To be his apostolic princess

Private manic dream slut

Pretend everything they took was what I gave them because

I get everything I wanted

By being everything they wanted

Oh, I get everything I wanted

By being everything I wanted

When I take it back

I JUST LIKE TO WATCH

I want to know who I'm looking at

I want to know who I'm talking to

I used to want to feel like I was necessary

Now I only want to be used

I want to know what I'm running from

When it's a dead end I'm running to

I used to want to be

What you want from me

Now I only want to consume

Fake pills, cheap highs

They didn't kill me the first time

Blocked all my sight

They only brought me ali-

I want to let it take me over

When there's nowhere else to hide

I used to want to feel

Like it was destiny

Now I want to burn it alive

So I want to fake it til it's over

But I want to feel like it's true

I used to want to look good for you

Now I only want to consume

Fake pills, cheap highs

They didn't kill me the first time

Blocked all my sight

They only brought me alive

'Til even through the high

I think I know what you did

And I think I know what you'll do

I'll feed it too much

Whet your appetite

You'll open wide

A matricide to swallow me up

I'll vow my love without condition

'Til complicit

Told to thank God that I get what I want

I'll give you too much

Never satisfied

You'll open wide

Won't hesitate to swallow me up

And if I'm silent I'm complicit

Bloody handed, like I did it

'Til I choose to decide

That I think I know what you did

It makes me sick

And I'm gonna tell

'Cause I think I know what you did

And I will make sure you're next

​​

CRAWL SPACE

You’ll fill my cup when I can’t stand

I’ll fulfill every unspoken command

Sever my soul

If it pleases his flesh

 

I’ll fall asleep with the tv still on

Drown myself til all feeling is gone

Drunken in the dark til the day finds me his

 

Madonna/whore, frigid ice bitch

Domestic heretic

I lie to myself

That the neck turns the head

 

Now, tell me I want this

I’m meant to be selfless

A pet you let sleep on the bed

 

Do you speak when you’re spoken to?

Would you like to contribute?

How do you feel about biting the hand that feeds?

 

Now they fill the glass

Now I’m vomiting powder

To purge thyself from evil

From the whore that was a daughter, say

 

How do you feel about dying in the street?

 

Feels like being bound to you

In only ways I did not choose

Every touch, it burned right through me

Til it finally burned me out

 

Punisher, killed by belief

Of what my suffering should mean

Until I see I bleed for nothing

Sorry if I’m ruining your fun

 

(Nothing that I wanted

Nothing that I wanted

Got nothing that I wanted

From everything I wanted

Need nothing that I wanted

Only the space to crawl away)

BLEED YRSLF DRY

Head rush, hot touch
I want to take control
Purified by fire
Now I see it’s only natural
To let the moment unfold
Consume, swallow whole
Just how I like it

Head rush, hot touch
I want to be the one
To pull you through the flame
And I do exactly what I want
Want you to feel it, too
Know all the bad things I wanna do to you

(Actual bad things)

‘Cause it feels so fucking good to see you get what you deserve
Can you take it like you give it?
Baby, tell me are you ready to hurt like I hurt
Like you make me hurt, like you do

You deserve worse

It gets worse when you see
How it all comes back around
‘Cause I think it’s time for you to feel what I feel
Gutted and compliant
You’ll take it as I want it
You can bleed yourself dry

To my very worst instinct
Think I wanna give in
‘Cause I think it’s time for me to feel what you feel
Power drunk and defiant
I take it as I want it
Wanna bleed you dry​

Head rush, hot touch
Now it’s instinctual
Wanna cut you wide, let this die
‘Cause I want to be emotional

Let the moment unfold
Bloody rage, uncontrolled
And I think I like it

‘Cause it feels so fucking good to see you get what you deserve
Can you take it like you give it?
Baby, tell me are you ready to hurt like I hurt
‘Cause I want you to hurt like I do

You deserve worse

It gets worse when you see
How it all comes back around
‘Cause I think it’s time for you to feel what I feel
Gutted and compliant
You’ll take it as I want it
You can bleed yourself dry

To my very worst instinct
Think I wanna give in
‘Cause I think it’s time for me to feel what you feel
Power drunk and defiant
I take it as I want it
And I want it to die 

‘Cause when I wonder
Are you sorry
No, it doesn’t even matter
No undoing all the things that you did
So I’m giving in
I’m giving in and it’s never felt better 

The higher road got so hard
And I’d rather take things too far
Don’t threaten me with a good time
‘Cause I’ll cut it wide
Bleed it dry
Let it die
Let it die
Let it die
 
Let it die

Cut it wide
Bleed it dry
Let it die
Let it die

Cut it wide
Bleed it dry
Let it die
Let it die

Let it die
Let it die
Let it die
Let it die
Let it die

I THANK GOD I DO NOT GET WHAT I WANT

No body, no crime

So I make it obvious before I walk away

What I once denied, so terrified to face

And it never gets easy, it only gets harder

 

Til I let it go

Unafraid to feel, let myself bleed it out

So go ahead and you can try to take me down

But it never gets easy, it only gets harder

 

‘Cause I say the hard, true words

When it matters, if it hurts

And don’t resist my fate

If what I want, what I wanted’s pulled away

I thank God I’ll never know

 

‘Cause I did my time

Not unconditional

I sharpened up my teeth

Bit through my collar

Chewed my way out of your leash

Bit as hard as I could til I could bite harder

 

And when it goes

It’s partly spinning in circles

Head on the pavement

And get through the hard parts

Marvel at how good things end up somehow

 

If I say the hard, true words

When it matters, if it hurts

And don’t resist my fate

If what I want, what I wanted’s pulled away

I thank God I’ll never know

 

Because I know

That while they’re donating their souls

For good of their fellow man

I’m better off dying alone

 

And it never gets easy

It only gets harder

Until then it gets good

 

Spinning in circles

Head on the pavement

Get through the hard parts

Dreaming about you

LITHA

Sun king, reach the height of power

I place my fate inside the seed

Come unfurled as it tangles through the soil

My mistaken death, I saw it sprout its leaves

 

And so it ripened in the dead wood

I place it back into the earth

To grow then push it down, it’s rotting from the inside

Hang my mouth open but never quench my thirst

 

And now, you’ll never get away

The scythe that harvests, it destroys

The things it sowed on your best days

So, kill it slow

Let it die and fade away

The happiest you’ve ever seen

With nothing left but time to sow again

 

Sun king, crystallize to pollen

Would it be better if I could

Grow your kingdom, tend your garden, be your martyr

Or hinge my jaw open but never get my fill

 

And now, hope they never get away

From the plague I put upon their homes

My buried dead, their reaching arms

Will find you

And bring you back to me

A soverign bloodstain on my hands

The happiest I’ve ever been

 

May my hurt bleed like a fire

Destroy all it encounters

Revenge all my afflictions

Only over

When I say I’m done

 

My scythe slices at the knees

To bow down, all those deserving

My power, mine ever after

Only over

Never over

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