
All lyrics by Rachel King
VEILS
There's a thinning of the veil
They claim a sacred, perfect order
From your origin, cut from His rib
Created to be smaller
They'll raise you modest, let you seethe
Denigrate the weaker vessel
Say, "believe me when I say it's meant to be"
You're seeing through their veils
You see their perfect new religion
Now what if you're the sacred one?
Cruelly leashed up
Now you see through their visions
To raise you modest, bleed you dry
Worthy when he tethers up the left hand and says
"Donate your soul for mine
It's unconditional for life
And tell me that you feel it too
It's a sign"
It's a sign
You're lifting up their veils
They speak impending doom, destruction
You insert wire hangers, drink GHB
Inseminate to fit their preference
They say
"Separate the higher meaning
Have a hotline, talk it out
Go heal your pleasure for his pleasing
Women's work to sort it out"
The rage, it seethes
Slow, deep it breeds
'Cause was it meant to be?
You're born again to just bleed out
'Cause it's meant to be
That it's meant for me
That my power, my pleasure
It was taken from me
To be everything He wanted
All they want me to be
To be his apostolic princess
Private manic dream slut
Pretend everything they took was what I gave them because
I get everything I wanted
By being everything they wanted
Oh, I get everything I wanted
By being everything I wanted
When I take it back
I JUST LIKE TO WATCH
I want to know who I'm looking at
I want to know who I'm talking to
I used to want to feel like I was necessary
Now I only want to be used
I want to know what I'm running from
When it's a dead end I'm running to
I used to want to be
What you want from me
Now I only want to consume
Fake pills, cheap highs
They didn't kill me the first time
Blocked all my sight
They only brought me ali-
I want to let it take me over
When there's nowhere else to hide
I used to want to feel
Like it was destiny
Now I want to burn it alive
So I want to fake it til it's over
But I want to feel like it's true
I used to want to look good for you
Now I only want to consume
Fake pills, cheap highs
They didn't kill me the first time
Blocked all my sight
They only brought me alive
'Til even through the high
I think I know what you did
And I think I know what you'll do
I'll feed it too much
Whet your appetite
You'll open wide
A matricide to swallow me up
I'll vow my love without condition
'Til complicit
Told to thank God that I get what I want
I'll give you too much
Never satisfied
You'll open wide
Won't hesitate to swallow me up
And if I'm silent I'm complicit
Bloody handed, like I did it
'Til I choose to decide
That I think I know what you did
It makes me sick
And I'm gonna tell
'Cause I think I know what you did
And I will make sure you're next
CRAWL SPACE
You’ll fill my cup when I can’t stand
I’ll fulfill every unspoken command
Sever my soul
If it pleases his flesh
I’ll fall asleep with the tv still on
Drown myself til all feeling is gone
Drunken in the dark til the day finds me his
Madonna/whore, frigid ice bitch
Domestic heretic
I lie to myself
That the neck turns the head
Now, tell me I want this
I’m meant to be selfless
A pet you let sleep on the bed
Do you speak when you’re spoken to?
Would you like to contribute?
How do you feel about biting the hand that feeds?
Now they fill the glass
Now I’m vomiting powder
To purge thyself from evil
From the whore that was a daughter, say
How do you feel about dying in the street?
Feels like being bound to you
In only ways I did not choose
Every touch, it burned right through me
Til it finally burned me out
Punisher, killed by belief
Of what my suffering should mean
Until I see I bleed for nothing
Sorry if I’m ruining your fun
(Nothing that I wanted
Nothing that I wanted
Got nothing that I wanted
From everything I wanted
Need nothing that I wanted
Only the space to crawl away)
BLEED YRSLF DRY
Head rush, hot touch
I want to take control
Purified by fire
Now I see it’s only natural
To let the moment unfold
Consume, swallow whole
Just how I like it
Head rush, hot touch
I want to be the one
To pull you through the flame
And I do exactly what I want
Want you to feel it, too
Know all the bad things I wanna do to you
(Actual bad things)
‘Cause it feels so fucking good to see you get what you deserve
Can you take it like you give it?
Baby, tell me are you ready to hurt like I hurt
Like you make me hurt, like you do
You deserve worse
It gets worse when you see
How it all comes back around
‘Cause I think it’s time for you to feel what I feel
Gutted and compliant
You’ll take it as I want it
You can bleed yourself dry
To my very worst instinct
Think I wanna give in
‘Cause I think it’s time for me to feel what you feel
Power drunk and defiant
I take it as I want it
Wanna bleed you dry
Head rush, hot touch
Now it’s instinctual
Wanna cut you wide, let this die
‘Cause I want to be emotional
Let the moment unfold
Bloody rage, uncontrolled
And I think I like it
‘Cause it feels so fucking good to see you get what you deserve
Can you take it like you give it?
Baby, tell me are you ready to hurt like I hurt
‘Cause I want you to hurt like I do
You deserve worse
It gets worse when you see
How it all comes back around
‘Cause I think it’s time for you to feel what I feel
Gutted and compliant
You’ll take it as I want it
You can bleed yourself dry
To my very worst instinct
Think I wanna give in
‘Cause I think it’s time for me to feel what you feel
Power drunk and defiant
I take it as I want it
And I want it to die
‘Cause when I wonder
Are you sorry
No, it doesn’t even matter
No undoing all the things that you did
So I’m giving in
I’m giving in and it’s never felt better
The higher road got so hard
And I’d rather take things too far
Don’t threaten me with a good time
‘Cause I’ll cut it wide
Bleed it dry
Let it die
Let it die
Let it die
Let it die
Cut it wide
Bleed it dry
Let it die
Let it die
Cut it wide
Bleed it dry
Let it die
Let it die
Let it die
Let it die
Let it die
Let it die
Let it die
I THANK GOD I DO NOT GET WHAT I WANT
No body, no crime
So I make it obvious before I walk away
What I once denied, so terrified to face
And it never gets easy, it only gets harder
Til I let it go
Unafraid to feel, let myself bleed it out
So go ahead and you can try to take me down
But it never gets easy, it only gets harder
‘Cause I say the hard, true words
When it matters, if it hurts
And don’t resist my fate
If what I want, what I wanted’s pulled away
I thank God I’ll never know
‘Cause I did my time
Not unconditional
I sharpened up my teeth
Bit through my collar
Chewed my way out of your leash
Bit as hard as I could til I could bite harder
And when it goes
It’s partly spinning in circles
Head on the pavement
And get through the hard parts
Marvel at how good things end up somehow
If I say the hard, true words
When it matters, if it hurts
And don’t resist my fate
If what I want, what I wanted’s pulled away
I thank God I’ll never know
Because I know
That while they’re donating their souls
For good of their fellow man
I’m better off dying alone
And it never gets easy
It only gets harder
Until then it gets good
Spinning in circles
Head on the pavement
Get through the hard parts
Dreaming about you
LITHA
Sun king, reach the height of power
I place my fate inside the seed
Come unfurled as it tangles through the soil
My mistaken death, I saw it sprout its leaves
And so it ripened in the dead wood
I place it back into the earth
To grow then push it down, it’s rotting from the inside
Hang my mouth open but never quench my thirst
And now, you’ll never get away
The scythe that harvests, it destroys
The things it sowed on your best days
So, kill it slow
Let it die and fade away
The happiest you’ve ever seen
With nothing left but time to sow again
Sun king, crystallize to pollen
Would it be better if I could
Grow your kingdom, tend your garden, be your martyr
Or hinge my jaw open but never get my fill
And now, hope they never get away
From the plague I put upon their homes
My buried dead, their reaching arms
Will find you
And bring you back to me
A soverign bloodstain on my hands
The happiest I’ve ever been
May my hurt bleed like a fire
Destroy all it encounters
Revenge all my afflictions
Only over
When I say I’m done
My scythe slices at the knees
To bow down, all those deserving
My power, mine ever after
Only over
Never over